Maintaining Your Threshold

June 9, 2026

I have been trying, succeeding, failing, stumbling and elevating towards some version of my best self consistently for about 12 years. It wasn’t until recently that I established who the best “me” is. That is me, but sober, vegan, fit and financially independent. Why does this figure matter? Because it is my new benchmark. How far away I am from these attributes is a clear indicator of how well I’m doing. I have reached days and streaks of being most of these things, and it feels amazing. Like I’m capable of anything. Like my mind is a diamond, fully in control, and my body feels strong.

My automatic self, I admit, is a person engulfed in substances, eats meat, is broke and has an irregular fitness routine. I know her well. To push beyond her and into my next threshold, of being sober, vegan, fit and financially independent, requires a lot of work. There’s a lot of planning, taking each day and making the most of it. I know how to get there, I just dont know how to maintain it. I can reach the mountain top but soon after I am falling below my highest state. It’s weird. It’s tough. It’s something I’d like to approach with an open mind. I want to find community around this. I want to have more discussion and morelived experiences where I’m learning how to maintain my best self.

I feel like I have a lot to prove. While my life has been a series of breakthroughs through the pitfall, I feel like I’ve learned enough to take the reins and really run with it. To rise up beyond the narrative that my love followed for so long. I feel deep down I am brilliant. I believe I am an artist. I believe I am a creator. That I can bend reality and shift into specific states when entirely tuned in to my brilliance. I’ve experiences incredible things. I have proof within my psychie of universal truth, and the intensity it brings to the picture. I genuinely believe my life is precious, and within a few days or weeks of focused intent, everything can change. I’ve seen it happen. I’ve lived its outcome.

What baffles me is the tied up notion of twisted thought. When something triggering tips me over, and I’m spiraling while trying to find which way is up. I eventually land and am somewhere else. My tro then to familiarity begins, and so does the loss of my good progress.

Unfortunately I cannot control the world. I cannot control who’s in front of me, or what is said or done to me. I can respond to it, but I cant control it. My response is everything. To isolate and dissappear is my go-to. I’ve gone there since I was a child. Its engraned in my stress management, and unfortunately doesnt always work for me. Turning towards god, on the other hand, would work for me. The only challenge becomes believign in God. And truly believing that at any moment when stress is around, I can turn inward and find God within me, the perfect loving, beaming joyous light of freedom that shines within me. It is a state of mind, it encompasses your entirety. It is all that you are. All that you’ve been. And everything you will be. All at once. Yes. I’ve lived this God. And within me it lives.

So. How to Maintain Your Threshold? Perhaps step 1, is remembering what you’re made of.